Taking charge of our minds

lakemountainsgreenWhen you stop and become aware of where your attention has been, usually you discover that it has been on worries, negative stuff that has you tensed up.

So much of the time we are on automatic pilot – our minds are full of thoughts but we are not aware of these.

We are, generally, not aware of the thoughts that are constantly running through our minds and so we are not choosing them.  Our mind is generally running us.

We have the power to train our minds, to choose the thoughts we allow into our minds and to choose where we will put our attention.

We have the power to quieten the mind, to stop the constant barrage of thoughts, to experience stillness.  Wonderful.

Love is…

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Love is making a decision to love yourself, no matter what, and to always forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes.

 

Love is taking time to listen to yourself each day and make sure you include yourself in your day.

 

Love is being a love finder and giving up that habit of the fault finder.

 

Love is remembering to fill in your Victory log and note the things you have done that you feel good about.

 

Love is feeling gratitude and spreading it everywhere.

 

Love is taking responsibility for all your reactions, understanding that your upset is caused by old beliefs and thought patterns and old wounds within yourself.  The upsets are an opportunity to look at these, understand more and heal.

 

Love is knowing that the only person you can change is yourself.

 

Love is being balanced in life in all ways – a time to be selfish and a time to be selfless, balancing masculine and feminine energies, love and firmness, a time for the inner life and time for the outer life.

 

Love is knowing that your true intent is to love and build others – not to hurt or harm them.

 

Love is kindness, reaching out, service, caring, forgiving, compassion, wanting the best for everyone as well as yourself, seeing the good,

 

Love is an energy of encouraging, healing, building, empowering, and bringing out the best in us and others.

 

Love is embracing life, living fully, doing our part, positive action, making a difference.

 

Love is inclusive – it connects us, bringing us to our understanding of oneness.

 

Love is the healer.

 

Be the depth and breadth of love that you truly are and rest in the truth of it.

Changing Oneself

I was reading an article in the newspaper recently where the writer was talking about how when he makes a judgement of another he adds the words “just like me”.  He says this is a little trick he has been using to keep himself reminded to focus more on his own behaviour and changing himself.
We are so focused generally on changing others. We see others as the cause of our problems. It is her bad form that is dragging me down.  It is his anger that has me feeling low and discouraged.  He doesn’t fulfill my needs – that’s why I am unhappy.  She wants things so much her own way that I don’t know what I want.Image 
The only person you can change is yourself.  When you are focused on changing others, you just end up stuck in the same old experiences over and over.
Other people don’t cause your feelings and experience.  They are the catalyst that stirs up your feelings but the feelings are yours.
It is such a big step toward healing, to accept that the only person you can change is yourself.  This is when the learning and growing really begin.
And when we change ourselves we help all because we are all connected.  When I am lifted up, all are lifted up.
We have learned to believe that the fault is out there, the cause of my suffering is outside of myself.  This keeps the suffering going on and on – nothing much changing.  There is also a deep-seated pattern of needing to see the problem as out there because it is too awful to have to see it as a fault in ourselves.
This is perhaps linked with a faulty belief that we are bad.  We fear  looking at our faults and weaknesses because we are so self-critical and for this reason, to acknowledge our inappropriate behaviour, is anticipated as devastating. It brings us back to the feeling of the child being told she/he is bold.
The truth is that we are all dealing with the same old negative ego faulty thought system and as we acknowledge the way it is operating in ourselves, we can free ourselves of it and choose differently.
So long as we fear looking at it and allow shame, we stay stuck.  We miss out on the power and love that comes from taking responsibility for our own reactions and faulty beliefs. When we are ready to accept our own stuff with love, and to clear it, we stop putting so much energy into hiding and trying to change others.  We become more compassionate toward self and others.
We open to more love and understanding of self and others.
When we are ready to accept our own stuff with love and to change ourselves, we allow healing and growth.