Buddha said that all suffering comes from attachments.

If your focus is “I can’t be happy until such a desire is fulfilled” then, you won’t be. You are believing that your happiness depends on this one thing.

When you are attached your only thought is for this one thing that you haven’t got so you don’t see all that you do have.

When we are attached to some desire we repel it because our energy is taken up with the “not having”.

The key is to have preferences but not attachments – to ask for what you want and take action to bring it to you but continue to live fully.




How We Grow Spiritually


Every part of life is part of the Spiritual path.

There are three levels of Spiritual growth.  There is the Spiritual level, which is about our relationship to Soul, to Spirit, to the Divine.  When we meditate, journal, pray, we are attending to this level of our Spiritual growth.We need to learn and grow at the spiritual level, developing our relationship to Spirit and making the spiritual path a priority in our lives.

Then there is the psychological/consciousness level which is about developing our consciousness and growing psychologically.  This concerns learning about personal power, self-love and self-worth, how everything in life is a lesson, a challenge and an opportunity to grow, everything is teaching us how to grow and move forward up our Spiritual mountain.

This level is also about understanding how there are two ways of thinking – Spiritual, positive thinking or negative, fear-based, separative thinking: only two feelings – love or fear – all other feelings are derivatives of these:  that our thoughts create our feelings:  that suffering comes from having attachments and the key is to have preferences and not attachments:  to integrate our mental and emotional bodies: to understand how negative ego thinking and feeling operates in our consciousness, creating more negativity and suffering and how we can change this: and more.

Then there is the physical/earthly level.  This is about how we care for, love and honour our earth and our physical body.  It is also about how we care for our home, manage finances, studies and work and about enjoying earth life, making the most of this precious opportunity.

It is about discovering the work we are to do, the part we are to play, the contribution each of us can make to the greater good of all.  There is something each of us has to bring, something that fits so well with us, that we love to do, something that brings out our giftedness.  We are here to serve, to do our part.

This takes time to discover – we need to sit and reflect on this while connecting with Spirit –  ask the question “what is my work” and keep asking this.  When we keep in touch with this question and think about it with the help of Spirit, we are connecting with inner guidance and we will know.  We must be patient and persist.

There is so much to the Spiritual path and when we put this first in life it changes our experience quite dramatically.  We begin to understand how we are the authors of our lives.  We are not here to suffer and be victims but to learn and grow and deepen our awareness.

It takes commitment, persistence and staying power and these are what bring us to truth and to Love’s presence within and all around us.



It really is a big challenge for us to realise that we are having lessons. We keep focusing on the cause of the upset as outside of ourselves.

We can’t see the lesson because our thoughts and feelings are keeping us stuck in the belief that the other person or situation is so unfair.  So the lesson keeps repeating.

We get caught in the reaction, the upset, the feelings of anger, hurt, fear, rejection and such.

We need to use our minds to think about what is going on inside of us so we can understand more and make conscious choices.

Living this understanding that lessons are teaching us rather than life being about other people or situations upsetting us, deeply changes our perspective and experience.


What you hold in your mind

It is so important to become aware of the stories you tell yourself.  When you do, you will become aware of how true it is that what you hold in your mind, you create. What you expect you will see and you will get.  What you focus on, increases.
You may tell yourself that you are not supported, that you are alone, that you are overlooked or unappreciated.  You may live in the story that you have no friends or that you are left out or that life is one long hard struggle from one problem to the next.
You live these stories and interpret what happens through the lens of these stories.  They have a real power over you and attract to you what you don’t want.  You will see these where others don’t.
Become conscious of the stories you tell yourself so that you can choose to change them and create what you truly want.

The Stories we live

It is really enlightening to become aware of stories you are living and expecting.

These stories you tell yourself, and live out of, colour how you interpret and experience everything.

Take some time each day to observe yourself and your reactions.

Get to know what upsets you and link this back to your attitudes, interpretations and expectations.

When we become fully conscious of our attitudes and interpretations, then we can change these and stop having these experiences.



Stories you tell yourself

You  may feel that you are overlooked in life or that you are unappreciated, or unsupported – this is the story you tell yourself.

This may have been an experience you had in childhood and now it continues because this is what you expect.

You expect to be overlooked, or unappreciated, or unsupported and this is what you see, how you interpret what you experience.

If you have experienced being left out as a child, then you will likely interpret situations through this experience and see it where others wouldn’t.

The key to healing these wounds is to realise that you continue this suffering because you overlook or don’t appreciate yourself – you leave yourself out.


Everything Matters


So everything matters.  Everything is about your Spiritual path.  When you choose to see life as a Spiritual path, you see how everything is teaching you something you need to learn.

Even when we take this on – that everything is teaching us something we need to learn – it is still our habit to focus on what the other has done or said. We get all taken up with not liking what they have said or done.  We want to “set them right”.

This is a difficult pattern to change – it takes a lot of determination and keeping on keeping on.

Why is this pattern so difficult to change?

Mainly because it is very hard for us to let go of our belief that the other person is in the wrong and I have to let them know.  That person has “made” me feel inferior and I am sure going to get back to top dog again.

However, while the other person may have behaved inappropriately, it is very important to realise that  the upset feelings are yours, coming from your beliefs, attitudes and interpretations.

The other person’s words or behaviour triggered this upset in you but didn’t cause it.

Why is this change so important to make – why not just go on in the old pattern?

First of all, the ego keeps us stuck in that inferiority/superiority pattern as if staying top dog is the only way for us to have self-worth.  This is a false belief.  Self worth is built through self love and is something we all need to learn and practise and keep practising.

Secondly, so long as we are trying to change the other person, nothing changes.  We keep up the same old painful patterns and experiences.  We are disempowered.

When instead we focus on ourselves and what the person or situation is teaching us – we are taking charge and we are empowered.

When you are upset, think about what happened and how you reacted.  Think about why this person or situation triggered upset in you.

Now you are taking responsibility for your own reactions, feelings, attitudes.  This takes courage and honesty and the reward is learning, growth and increased understanding of yourself.  Now you are listening to yourself, understanding yourself more and allowing the possibility of healing.

We are very steeped in emotion and feelings and even our thinking is quite emotional.  We need to use the mind more and this will bring us clarity, understanding and choice.