So everything matters. Everything is about your Spiritual path. When you choose to see life as a Spiritual path, you see how everything is teaching you something you need to learn.
Even when we take this on – that everything is teaching us something we need to learn – it is still our habit to focus on what the other has done or said. We get all taken up with not liking what they have said or done. We want to “set them right”.
This is a difficult pattern to change – it takes a lot of determination and keeping on keeping on.
Why is this pattern so difficult to change?
Mainly because it is very hard for us to let go of our belief that the other person is in the wrong and I have to let them know. That person has “made” me feel inferior and I am sure going to get back to top dog again.
However, while the other person may have behaved inappropriately, it is very important to realise that the upset feelings are yours, coming from your beliefs, attitudes and interpretations.
The other person’s words or behaviour triggered this upset in you but didn’t cause it.
Why is this change so important to make – why not just go on in the old pattern?
First of all, the ego keeps us stuck in that inferiority/superiority pattern as if staying top dog is the only way for us to have self-worth. This is a false belief. Self worth is built through self love and is something we all need to learn and practise and keep practising.
Secondly, so long as we are trying to change the other person, nothing changes. We keep up the same old painful patterns and experiences. We are disempowered.
When instead we focus on ourselves and what the person or situation is teaching us – we are taking charge and we are empowered.
When you are upset, think about what happened and how you reacted. Think about why this person or situation triggered upset in you.
Now you are taking responsibility for your own reactions, feelings, attitudes. This takes courage and honesty and the reward is learning, growth and increased understanding of yourself. Now you are listening to yourself, understanding yourself more and allowing the possibility of healing.
We are very steeped in emotion and feelings and even our thinking is quite emotional. We need to use the mind more and this will bring us clarity, understanding and choice.