Managing Your Feelings


Do you find yourself at the mercy of your feelings and run by your emotions?  This is the experience of a great many people.
It’s worth observing just how your feelings like to get in on things and get rattled.  You will see, that, the more you think about whatever it is that has happened, the more the feelings get rattled and fired up.
If you get distracted and to thinking about something else, your feelings calm down but as soon as you return to thinking about what happened, you find your feelings getting intense again.
Often you will find yourself reacting to something that has happened, to something someone has said or done or hasn’t said or done.  You may feel afraid, angry, hurt, resentful.  The belief is that the other person or the situation has caused your feelings.  So you see the problem as out there and what you have to change is out there, outside of you, you believe.
However, this doesn’t help at all.  It changes nothing and often you find that the same kind of experiences occur over and over.  You keep reacting to these in the same way, convinced that the problem is outside of you.
It made such a difference to me to understand that when I react to someone or something, this is because I have beliefs and thoughts and old patterns inside of me that have been triggered.  These are my beliefs and attitudes and the situation or person I have reacted to has brought these up from an unconscious part of me.  I now have the opportunity to examine these, accept them as my issues and resolve them.
When I do this, I have the power to change the experience, to grow and to stop this recurring painful pattern.
This is a challenging one to really take on and apply in daily life.  The ego wants to blame the situation or other person and to hold tightly to what you believe to be “rightful” feelings of indignation.   When you truly accept that when you react, the feelings aroused are yours and come from old beliefs and attitudes you hold, you have the power to change your experience, to create a different reality.
When you take offence and let rip or go resentfully silent or walk away, you will usually find that this makes things worse and you feel drained and often badly after the event.  
A great many would hold that things happen, feelings happen.  You can’t help it. It’s natural to react and have negative feelings. This keeps you stuck in the same negative spiral.
The truth is that it’s your thoughts that create or cause your feelings, not other people or what happens to you.  Try it out.  See what you discover.
Next time your buttons are pressed, take a deep breath and centre yourself.  This will calm your mind and bring you into the present.  Breathe a few times.
Now observe what has happened and become aware of your choice in this situation.  You can react and lash back and feel powerless, or you can look at the thoughts that are going through your mind and how these are causing you to feel in a certain way and choose how you want to respond.
Go on.  Try it out.  Change how you think and see how differently you can feel.


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