It’s a real challenge to manage your feelings and emotions and not to let them run you or to be at their mercy.
Here are some tips to help you to take charge and not give your power away to your emotions.
When you feel a strong, negative emotion, stop and breathe. Be conscious of what’s going on for you. Feel it but don’t allow it to take you over. You have this feeling but you are not this feeling. You are observing this feeling that has come up in you.
Take responsibility for this feeling. It’s yours. The other person or situation may have triggered it, but the reaction is yours and is coming from some unconscious or semi-conscious attitude you hold.
So when you take this time to stop, you are less likely to react and hit back.
Mostly what happens is that we can feel put into an inferior position by the other and so we hit back so that we can get back to the superior position. It may be hard to believe that this is how we are operating for the most part, but just observe yourself and others for a while – with love and without judgement of course!
We believe that the only way to feel ok is to be superior to the other, better, top dog. This is an old false belief most people hold and it doesn’t increase self-esteem even one tiny bit except for maybe, a split second.
The great truth is that we are all equal and we have nothing to prove and nothing to defend and life just gets better when we seek the best for ourselves and for all others and know we are all connected. The more we pull together and work together, the better we feel and the better our experience and the more we all grow.
One great thing to do when you experience a strong negative feeling is to journal about it. Write down what happened and how you reacted. Then trace back the negative feeling to the thoughts and attitudes that are back of it. Then ask yourself is this the attitude I want to continue to have. What are the effects, the consequences of holding this attitude? How is it serving me and the greater good? Is it of any value? What am I choosing?
Now, write out the new, positive, spiritual attitude you intend to have. This is key if you want to change your experience. When you write down what you want you are grounding your intent, making it physical and your whole self is hearing what you want. This is powerful.
If you are discussing something with someone and the sharing gets negative, decide to stop the discussion for now and to return to it when you are calmer. In the meantime, journal about what was happening for you and why you felt defensive or reactive. It is amazing how often you will see that when you look at how you reacted, you will discover that it’s based on old faulty thinking and now you can change and be more open and creative and not need to jump in to defend.
This is especially helpful when it comes to communications between spouses and partners and all people you are close to.
Don’t take things personally is a very helpful tip too. Allow the other person where they are and practice self-love and worth.
If you are experiencing a strong negative emotion and you don’t have the time to journal about it at the time, you can say to your mind “I am putting this issue aside for the moment and will come back to it later today or tomorrow, at such and such a time”. It’s important to be definite as to when you will take time to analyse and understand your reaction and to do it.
This is very helpful, especially if you feel a bit taken over by a negative feeling and haven’t the time to sit and journal about it at the time.
One of the most challenging aspects of ourselves that we need to master and take charge of is our feelings and you will experience yourself so much lighter and more balanced when you decide to take this on.
Negative feelings drain you. Positive feelings uplift you and connect you.
You have the power to choose.