We have been caught up for so long in the illusion that we are just an ego, a personality, a physical body. This has had us utterly concerned with what other people think of us, having the approval of others, preoccupied with the need to feel we matter, have importance, are special, are loved, making an impression, being seen by others as beautiful, being successful in the eyes of society – always our worth and lovableness are tied up with what we think others think of us – how we think we are rated by the world.
The truth is that what we think others think of us is a fickle thing, and is based on trying to judge what pleases or displeases the other person. An impossible task and we are so fixed on it – often quite unconsciously.
It is all connected with conditional love – I love you if you please me, if I approve of you, if you measure up.
Why does it matter so much what others think of us? Because we have an old belief that in order to survive we must “fit in”. I must hide my truth so that I will “fit in”.
There is a deep fear of rejection, abandonment and so we strive to “fit in”, to be included. The ego sees life this way because it lives in the illusion of separation. And the belief in separation causes the fear.
The truth is that I can never be rejected because I am a Soul and a part of the whole – there is no separation.
From Soul’s perspective our concern is not whether we are loved or matter but that we love, that we care, that we are doing our part in the world and living our best life. And as we give love we experience love and as we do our part in the world we receive and our cup is overflowing. We rise up out of the illusion of limitation and fear and our whole vision of what life is about expands and flourishes.