Buddha said “All suffering comes from attachments and wrong points of view”.
Whenever you are challenged it is worth looking into what is the attachment – what am I attached to in this situation. All our lessons and challenges could be looked at from this perspective and this would help us to understand more clearly what a lesson or challenge is teaching us.
The ego is what brings us into the realm of attachment – attachment to being liked, to being approved of, to fitting in, to making an impression, to being right, to convincing the other person, to feeling safe, to feeling comfortable, to not being criticised, to not being thought stupid or put down, to things being pleasant, to having things to look forward to [as if my happiness depends on this].
These are just some of the ones that come to mind for me as I think about what we can be attached to but there are many more.
So if I practise non-attachment it’s very different. I would say to myself “I have a super strong preference for this thing to happen or for this outcome but I am not attached to it”. This is a very different energy. I am acknowledging my preference but not believing that my happiness, my life, depends on it. Think about this.
If I am deeply attached to something my life can be on hold – my life is all focused on this one thing. I may see it as the one thing that will make me happy, bring me fulfilment. My ego has fixated on this. It’s an experience of contraction. This is a difficult place for a person to find themselves.
It can really make a difference to move to the level of Spirit, of Soul and ask help to understand the bigger picture. State your preference and then let it go and practise Trust. Say to yourself, if this is for me, it will come to me. If it is not, it’s because there is something else and better for me that my limited understanding isn’t comprehending as yet. Also it may not be coming now because it’s not the time – it may still come [but again no attachment here]. There is nothing I am doing wrong and this is not punishment – it’s much more about my Soul’s path, the unfolding of my journey.