Our focus, so much of the time, is on changing others. It is always so easy for us to say what another should do, what would sort them out, what they’re “doing wrong”. So many conversations are gossipy ones all about others and their behaviours.
Why is this? Is it because we live so much outside of ourselves, concerned with what we think others think of us, trying to fit in, to conform to what the world deems to be “right” or successful? As a result our inner self is unchartered territory, a place we rarely, if ever, visit.
Is it because we believe other people are the cause of our difficulties?
Is it that it’s too painful to look at our own faults and weaknesses because we have such a poor self opinion so the pattern is to see these in other people?
Is it that we have never learned to practise self enquiry and to recognise our own faulty thinking, faulty psychology and do this with love and firmness rather than self criticism and self abuse?
We miss out so much by living outside of ourselves and avoiding looking within. When we can acknowledge our negative patterns of thinking and feeling, our negative behaviours and negative ways of speaking, then we have the opportunity to clear these, to heal and to change our experience. When we can take responsibility for what we experience, we stop blaming others and we no longer get pulled into the belief that we are victims of what happens. We are empowered, because we do have the power to change ourselves and when we do, we find that our experience changes and others close to us may change too.
So long as we live outside of self, concerned always with the lives of others and trying to “put them right”, we cut ourselves off from the rich potential within us – we increase our feelings of separation and disconnection. When we can acknowledge our own stuff and clear and heal this we learn to love ourselves and to love others more and we can release the beauty of our Soul.