Spiritual growth involves growth on 3 levels – the physical/earthly level, the psychological/consciousness level and the Spiritual level.
The Psychological/Consciousness Level:
There is so much for us to learn and to understand about this level and once we take it on we will begin to realise what causes our suffering and how we can heal. We will begin to realise that we can learn through deepening our understanding rather than from the school of hard knocks – where we learn through suffering – repeating the same old lessons over and over.
The first two major lessons on this level are personal power and self love and worth. Developing personal power is about taking charge of yourself and all your energies; choosing the thoughts you allow into your mind and those you don’t allow, understanding that we become what we think about all day long. When we first become more aware of our thoughts we see how negative they are so much of the time, generally fear-based and full of negative expectations. When we desire, and work, to fill our minds and hearts with spiritual, positive, love-based, joyful thoughts then this is the energy we are carrying around with us and radiating out to the world and this is what we experience more and more of in our lives.
Developing self love and worth is also essential to our psychological and Spiritual health. Your relationship to yourself is the most important relationship in your life because if you don’t love yourself it affects all your relationships – you are constantly seeking love, affirmation, security, approval, from others, from outside yourself, and this is not where it is. When you learn to love yourself then you come into relationship with others as a whole being, rather than a part who believes that what you need is outside of yourself and your whole existence depends on you getting this. Others can never satisfy our love and security needs. We must first learn to love ourselves.
You first need to make the choice to love yourself – understanding and continually reminding yourself that you are a Soul, you are divine, you are love. You are not that lowly worm, not good enough, separate, trying to fit in, always under threat. Always speak to yourself as you would to a best friend. Your critical inner parent will focus on the little part you didn’t do so well and give you a hard time. Replace that pattern with an inner parent who is very focused on what you are doing well and points these out and then with the bit that needs improving you choose to improve and work out a plan to help yourself with this. Love and firmness, gratitude and acknowledgement of victories – are all essential to learning to love yourself. Never give yourself a hard time or speak in a critical, harsh way to yourself – these faulty habits just have you feel unlovable and unworthy and that is illusion.