When you tell a negative story or dwell on negative stories, you keep them alive and strong and you are living in this negative energy, carrying it around in your energy field. It drains you, pulls you down into the energy of the story and the suffering you experienced. Also – and this is important – it keeps bringing this kind of energy towards you so that you experience more of what you found so painful.
What we focus on, what we give attention to, grows. So it’s important to stop living in this negative, draining energy and to understand how we can help ourselves to heal.
Why do we allow so much of our energy to be tied up in the past rather than using it to learn from the past so we can be clearer about what we want to create in our lives now?
It’s like the inner child is longing to be heard and understood, longing for someone to take this pain away. The inner child feels nobody understands the pain they experienced and keep experiencing. It becomes a familiar place.
It is good to experience a painful story being listened to and to receive the compassion of another but in some situations more is necessary so that we heal that experience. It is also very important to seek counselling for issues that are troubling you and to be ready to give this to yourself. There are times in life when most of us need help to sort things out and benefit greatly from this. This takes courage. It is those who want to grow and improve their experience who take this step. Sometimes this is enough to bring about healing but for some of us there are experiences that don’t get sorted out in these ways.
What is important is to listen to those stories yourself. Listen to what’s causing you pain. Journal about them and why they are still so strong in your life now. Change your attitude that you are a victim of them and choose to see them as part of your path. This is a big change in attitude and you need to choose to try it out and give it a fair chance. You might not accept this idea at all in the beginning. It’s a leap.
When you write about them, this can pull you back into the emotion so it’s important to write the story in just a few sentences and to focus on using your mind. You are acknowledging the emotion but you don’t want the emotion to take over so that you can’t see clearly and are stuck back in the pain of that emotion.
Then ask yourself why you live in this story? How does this serve you? What do you want?
Really listen to you and try to get a sense of how this old suffering is still causing you suffering and holding you in a tough place. Begin to get a sense that you have choice here. Begin to say to yourself “I don’t need to feel this way anymore”. Feel the freedom of that.