The Power of the Stories we tell ourselves


Many of us can feel we are unsupported, or no one listens to us or left out.  These can be some of the stories we live by and so we interpret life through the lens of these stories. This means I expect no support or not to be listened to or to be left out or whatever the story is that I tell myself. I see these things where others wouldn’t. I am focused on them and so I create them and magnify these experiences into my life.
It is so important to get to know the stories you tell yourself because what you expect, you look for and you attract. What you focus on increases.  This is a Law of the Universe.

So let’s turn it all around and see these stories from another angle altogether.  When you feel unsupported, the experience is telling you that you are not supporting yourself.  The healing of this pattern of suffering will come when you see this and take it on – when you recognise that the experience of support starts from within you.
You support yourself when you choose to love yourself and appreciate yourself and your giftedness – all you are and all you bring.  You support yourself when you believe in yourself, in the love, power and wisdom within you and live from this. You support yourself by giving time to listening to yourself with your journal – making space in your life for going within and listening to what’s going on for you. You support yourself when you recognise the Soul within you and all you have to give and give it, share it in the world. You support yourself when you make time to meditate and connect with your Soul.
If I believe no one listens to me the healing will come when I begin to listen to myself and to that “still small voice within” – when I make the journey to the within and find my true Self.
If I see myself as left out, overlooked, then I can heal this through recognising that this is just a story I tell myself because of earlier experiences in my life [our stories are generally related to early experiences in life].  Now I don’t need to be imprisoned by this story any longer and I can find healing through recognising how I leave myself out.


The Lower Nature and Our Higher Nature


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We have a lower nature and a higher nature. The lower nature is the part of me that is self-centred – relating everything to myself.  It’s the part of me that is all concerned with what I like and don’t like; with what I want and don’t want; with whether I’m happy, at ease, feeling safe, feeling liked. It’s the part of me that blames and complains, judges and criticises, gets caught in superiority or inferiority, shame and guilt. All of these are the result of the false belief that I am a physical body, an ego, separate. The belief in separation causes the fear and self concern.

We have 3 bodies – the physical body, the emotional body and the mental body.  When the lower nature rules the physical body we might eat and drink whatever we like without any thought as to what is good for the body and how to look after it.

When the lower nature rules the emotional body we allow ourselves to be run by our emotions. We react to people and situations and experience constant inner and outer conflict. Fear seems so real.

When the lower nature rules the mental body we have constant negative, separative, fear-based thoughts.

When the lower nature is ruling we very often feel powerless, a victim, tossed around by the storms of life. We are rudderless, without clear direction.

Our work is to master our 3 bodies – to understand that we need to take charge of our bodies rather than allow them to run us. Our higher nature expresses the qualities and aspirations of our Soul.

Some months ago I had a very clear experience of this choice between the higher and lower nature. There was a misunderstanding and as I walked downstairs to get something, I thought to myself, oh Gill, lesson, challenge, opportunity and I smiled. I could see so clearly my choice to react back and aim to be top dog or to choose love. I thought to myself, why would I want to make another person feel small. It’s not to say there wasn’t negativity in the behaviour of the other person but if I want to build my higher nature and stop being run by my lower nature then I need to sacrifice my lower nature.  I need to higher the frequencies of my bodies by seeking to learn and grow and improve, by practising the qualities and powers of my Soul.


Everything Matters


So everything matters.  Everything is about your Spiritual path.  When you choose to see life as a Spiritual path, you see how everything is teaching you something you need to learn.

Even when we take this on – that everything is teaching us something we need to learn – it is still our habit to focus on what the other has done or said. We get all taken up with not liking what they have said or done.  We want to “set them right”.

This is a difficult pattern to change – it takes a lot of determination and keeping on keeping on.

Why is this pattern so difficult to change?

Mainly because it is very hard for us to let go of our belief that the other person is in the wrong and I have to let them know.  That person has “made” me feel inferior and I am sure going to get back to top dog again.

However, while the other person may have behaved inappropriately, it is very important to realise that  the upset feelings are yours, coming from your beliefs, attitudes and interpretations.

The other person’s words or behaviour triggered this upset in you but didn’t cause it.

Why is this change so important to make – why not just go on in the old pattern?

First of all, the ego keeps us stuck in that inferiority/superiority pattern as if staying top dog is the only way for us to have self-worth.  This is a false belief.  Self worth is built through self love and is something we all need to learn and practise and keep practising.

Secondly, so long as we are trying to change the other person, nothing changes.  We keep up the same old painful patterns and experiences.  We are disempowered.

When instead we focus on ourselves and what the person or situation is teaching us – we are taking charge and we are empowered.

When you are upset, think about what happened and how you reacted.  Think about why this person or situation triggered upset in you.

Now you are taking responsibility for your own reactions, feelings, attitudes.  This takes courage and honesty and the reward is learning, growth and increased understanding of yourself.  Now you are listening to yourself, understanding yourself more and allowing the possibility of healing.

We are very steeped in emotion and feelings and even our thinking is quite emotional.  We need to use the mind more and this will bring us clarity, understanding and choice.

Everything is teaching us something we need to learn

It is not other people or situations that cause your upset – it is your thoughts, attitudes, beliefs and interpretations.

Even though the other person may have acted inappropriately, your upset is caused by your own interpretations and beliefs.

When you are honest with yourself and are willing to look at what in you has caused the upset, then you can heal and make changes.

Our habit is to see the other person or the situation as the problem and so we don’t see the lesson that is there for us.

Lessons keep being repeated until we realise that the experience is teaching us something that we need to learn. This is a really important understanding.





Love is…


Love is making a decision to love yourself, no matter what, and to always forgive yourself and learn from your mistakes.


Love is taking time to listen to yourself each day and make sure you include yourself in your day.


Love is being a love finder and giving up that habit of the fault finder.


Love is remembering to fill in your Victory log and note the things you have done that you feel good about.


Love is feeling gratitude and spreading it everywhere.


Love is taking responsibility for all your reactions, understanding that your upset is caused by old beliefs and thought patterns and old wounds within yourself.  The upsets are an opportunity to look at these, understand more and heal.


Love is knowing that the only person you can change is yourself.


Love is being balanced in life in all ways – a time to be selfish and a time to be selfless, balancing masculine and feminine energies, love and firmness, a time for the inner life and time for the outer life.


Love is knowing that your true intent is to love and build others – not to hurt or harm them.


Love is kindness, reaching out, service, caring, forgiving, compassion, wanting the best for everyone as well as yourself, seeing the good,


Love is an energy of encouraging, healing, building, empowering, and bringing out the best in us and others.


Love is embracing life, living fully, doing our part, positive action, making a difference.


Love is inclusive – it connects us, bringing us to our understanding of oneness.


Love is the healer.


Be the depth and breadth of love that you truly are and rest in the truth of it.

The Development of Consciousness

ImageWe are here to learn and grow, discover truth, evolve, live purposefully, live deeply and fully.  We are not here to suffer, be victims of our past and of life generally, or to make do.
Life is precious and there is so much that is unlived within us.
We have the power to become masters and healers through the development of our consciousness.
Life really begins when we make contact with the Soul, the Spirit within us and live our lives from this connection. When we choose to be guided by Spirit within, then, everything matters, every aspect of self and life.
You begin to understand how essential it is to your psychological health and growth, to claim and use your personal power and to learn to love yourself unconditionally.
Your physical body matters and you begin to love and care for it and to master it.  You stop giving your power away to your physical body and instead you take charge.
Now you begin to understand that symptoms are not to be “got rid of” but to be listened to and understood – they are telling you something is out of balance.  For example your headache might tell you that you are dehydrated and need to drink more water, or that you are stressed and need to work out what is stressing you and what action you can take to change this, or that you need to overcome the habit of having chocolate in the evening, or that you are stuck in some thought pattern and need to journal to get clear, and so on.  There are many possible messages that a headache can be giving you.
You become more aware of how you can be run by your emotions and how you can be at the mercy of your feelings.  You begin to understand that your feelings are caused by your thoughts and you can change your experience by changing your thoughts. You realise that when you give your power away to your feelings you end up feeling more confused and often feeling bad.
You see how so much of the time your mind is on automatic pilot, caught up in a constant flow of thoughts that you are not aware of.  You begin to understand how your mind is running you and that taking charge of the thoughts you allow into your mind and those you don’t allow, makes a real difference to how you experience life.
You begin to understand that when you work with your soul and take charge of your physical body, your emotions and your mind, life becomes so much better.  Now you are living, you are alive.
Meditation and journaling are two important ways of connecting with your Soul, with your inner guidance and beginning to understand the power and beauty of your Spirit and being and the meaning and purpose of your precious life.
“Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks within, awakens.” Carl Jung

Photo thanks to Maggie Boate